Your Sanity

We'll all come back to those same walls one day.

~We're all mad. ~

They say they will help you find your sanity. 

But you know you're already free.

You strive so hard to be perfect, 

But they just stick you with labels: "mad."

Soon you are confined within their walls.

Through your fragile ears, they blast their static.

You try to switch it off, but they pump more static

Because they don't understand your sanity.

The world is closing in and so are these white walls.

You're suffocating, but they say you need to to be free.

It makes you want to rebel. You're so mad,

and you still strive so hard to be perfect.

They'll feed you lies, but your air is already a perfect 

treat. You take it down and just taste the static.

You start falling deeper, growing tired and more mad.

Struggling, you slowly start to give up your own sanity.

Now you're breaking, losing the free

will you once had outside these white walls.

They give you a white coat to match their walls.

They yell things about you not being normal or perfect.

You're bound by their chains to never be free.

You tried to hold firm and always stay static.

But they're playing with fire and your own sanity

so much that it makes you wonder if you really are mad.

Now you're raging and hiding rituals, Mad

at yourself for getting so bad and falling into these walls.

How did you lose your own sanity

so quickly? How was your perfect 

so imperfect? You think as they feed you more static.

You let them take control cause you'll never be free.

Remember when they finally let you free?

That day, all your demons agreed: you are mad.

You were a good little girl and mimicked their static.

They let you out, but you etched your name on their walls

so they'll never forget you. You can't be perfect.

You know you'll be back here next time you lose your sanity.

Now you're free,

but you know you'll be back in these walls.

You know you'll be mad

once again striving to find "perfect."

They'll try to cure you, more static,

but you'll never be cured

This is your sanity.

Porcelain Doll

*Update: I started a lifestyle blog yesterday, so please follow this link and check it out! 

Life of The Porcelain Doll

 I wrote this as a lyrical poem back in middle school, and it inspired the creation of an entire world.

~ Where it all began. ~

I'm drowning in my sorrows.

I suffocate in my own air.

I fear for every tomorrow,

Bows in my synthetic hair.

See my pain through glass eyes.

No one sees that I'm there.

I've become a slave to my own devise.

It pours out from under what I wear.

My skin is milky white and cold.

Under the weight, my own legs fold.

I'm dressed up in cream colored chains.

Don't let it fool you, it's easily stained.

I'm just a porcelain doll.

Fall on the floor, I shatter to pieces.

Please pick up my heart, promise to keep it.

Glue me back together 

Forever, I break so easily.

I have a voice. Do what you want with me.

To all, I'm just a porcelain doll.

I'm falling backwards, down

On the shelf too long a while.

It hurts when I hit ground,

Sharp edges can't be filed.

Smile's painted on my face. 

But I have no reason to smile.

I can't show all my pain.

I'm older now than my miles.

My skin is milky white and cold.

Under the weight, my own legs fold.

I'm dressed up in cream colored chains.

Don't let it fool you, it's easily stained.

I'm just a porcelain doll.

Fall on the floor, I shatter to pieces.

Please pick up my heart, promise to keep it.

Glue me back together 

Forever, I break so easily.

I have a voice. Do what you want with me.

To all, I'm just a porcelain doll.

I don't need a dollhouse. I don't like these walls.

I think that I'm old enough to know how to crawl.

I can't live in a carriage for the rest of my life.

You ask me to stay, but I'm willing to fight.

I'm not so fragile. I'm not made of porcelain. 

Its time that you see that I'm just human.

I'm just a porcelain doll.

Fall on the floor, I shatter to pieces.

Please pick up my heart, promise to keep it.

Glue me back together

Forever, I break so easily.

I have a voice. Do what you want with me.

To all, I'm just a porcelain doll.

I'm just a porcelain doll.

Porcelain doll.

I'm just a porcelain doll.

Porcelain doll.

I'm just a porcelain doll.

Ghosts

They come back at the strangest times. 

~ Please fade away. ~

There's always ghosts inside our heads.

They leave such taunting memories.

They haunt us most when we are in our beds,

Trying to find peace for once in our sleep.

They come back in flashes time to time.

We are never quite so prepared.

We think we're healed, but they plague our minds,

Mixing into the safety of our present beds.

The past is behind. "Leave it behind," we say. 

Are we ever fully done with a moment?

The ghosts always seem to find their ways

Back into our present sacred moments.

They bounce off the porcelain walls.

They leave echoes of traces within us.

You can't deny they've left a mark on all

The conscious life you are living.

They seep their ways back into our lives,

Like some disease we have been treating.

We think we had wiped clean our minds,

But they seep back into our every thought.

Everything is better now. Why do the ghosts still seep

Into our rooms at night when we're safely guarded?

Everything is better than it could ever be.

Why do they still taunt us in our peaceful sleep?

But they come in here and there, in full waves.

We become hindered by our inhibitions,

But they were the ghosts of yesterday,

Sometimes tempting us, wishing for a change. 

A single scene can make them come flying in.

But you just have to push them out.

The ghosts are figments of your imagination.

They're not real, only imaginary reminders of the past.

Imagination is nothing compared to reality.

The ghosts are trying to convince you otherwise -

To be back in the state of living in memories.

But you can see the future without them.

Echoes on porcelain walls are soon all they will ever be.

The ghosts will no longer have any meaning

To us, as we lay down for our peaceful sleep.

They are merely figments of distant memories.

Pull

Open the door to what could be. 

~ Give in the the pull.~

This isn't what I had expected. 

I never thought I'd be this tempted,

but there you stand across the room,

and I already feel a pull to you.

You're beautiful and so magnetic,

The chemistry is so energetic.

I have never felt this way.

I'm just hoping that you'll stay.

All the other people begin to blur.

All I see is one single fleur

de lis that matches mine.

You're the one I needed to find.

I don't know how I let you in so easily.

All the others fought, as I stayed free,

but I give in in no time this time.

You already have a hold of my mind.

When I finally reach you, you don't leave.

I hope you'll stay around to see what's underneath.

Just look at how many times you've restored my faith

in something I thought only for a magical place.

You've made me believe magic is real.

I know it's real in everything we feel.

It's not just a tale for old souls to say.

Now it's our story we live each day.

You're beautiful and so tempting.

This was never what I was expecting,

but the stories they tell are true.

I have found my prince in you.

I couldn't have predicted this. 

You're the answer to my every wish. 

I  follow the temptingly magnetic pull to you. 

I walk to you from across the room. 

Crystal Heart

Sometimes fate finds you when you least expect it.

~ Be patient. ~

Your voice is still clear in my mind.

I still feel your arms holding me close.

We said goodnight quite some while ago,

But you're stuck in my mind like a song I know. 

I hold my breath until I see you again.

You replay the last recording in your mind.

Minutes suddenly become millenniums,

And our thoughts ache more with time.

We wake up and fall asleep again.

A crystal heart hangs from a chain.

We find each other in our dreams.

Pictures add up to sums in frames.

Finally, I see your face and it lights up,

As though you're meeting a queen.

You hold me even closer,

As if we were apart for an eternity.

We walk in the crowded city,

Just two people part of an entire sea,

But we're the only ones who matter.

We're the only ones we see.

You see me shiver in the outside air 

And wrap one arm around me.

Like two pieces in a puzzle,

Our fingers intertwine so perfectly.

Your eyes are locked onto mine.

My head finds home on your chest.

We've found our fantasies in each other.

Our active minds can finally rest.

Pedestal

Everyone has their own secrets they hide from the world. 

~ You're not the only one. ~

They put you on a pedestal,

Like you're made of porcelain.

Keeping up the mirage was hard,

But they believed the lines you said.

They put you on a pedestal,

Like there was something else to see. 

You play all your parts very nice,

But stab a knife in their backs as you leave.

You think you're on a pedestal,

But you're not porcelain.

You make up all the rules,

A master over all your friends.

They put you on a pedestal,

But I don't think there's anything to see. 

I'm the one who's china-made. 

But I'm not cracking like you need.  

They put you on a pedestal

Cause you pretend to be porcelain,

Just to play the rules your way.

There's so much you need to mend.

They put you on a pedestal.

Outside, there's a mirage to see.

You think that praise is all there is.

So, you pretend you're someone you'll never be.

They put us on a pedestal

Because everyone is porcelain.

We all get broken and damaged,

But we have to know when it's time to mend. 

They put us on a pedestal.

Everyone has something to see.

We all get broken and damaged,

But we have to know when it's time to admit defeat. 

The Land of No Return

Everyone has been to their own land of no return before.

~ Come back. ~

I was relying too much on the demons that plagued me.

A thousand times I bled, thinking it the only way to save me.

They kept cutting deeper, and I relied on the beautiful pain.

I slipped more into your darkness, thinking it was the only way.

Thinking it was the only way.

There have been thorns on roses we've been so daring to touch.

They left scars on our calloused hearts, but our minds became drugged.

So, we took on a strange addiction, quickly stealing our souls away.

We've been persuaded we would stay static, but out minds became insane.

Quickly stealing our souls away.

We've gone to the Land of No Return, falling down a thorny rabbit hole.

We've seen such visions and actions that only we're smart enough to know.

Time and time again, we've become accustomed to the same pattern.

We still like to play with fire, but only so we can feel the burn.

Accustomed to the same pattern. 

But this is the way that we needed it to be, isn't it?

Isn't it the demons and the chaos that we found complete comfort in?

Aren't they the ones who helped us cope when we thought we couldn't?

No. In reality, we shot the gun as we were taking their bullets.

Taking their bullets.

We're all relying too much on the demons that plague us.

Bleeding a thousand times, they'll never save us.

It seems as though we're all just slaves to our own afflictions.

We're old enough now to learn to break free from our additions.

Break free from our addictions.

The Land of No Return seems like such a beautiful place.

I've learned it is just a hideout for all the demons we won't face.

Now we're not fooled by a craving so tempting and taunting. 

We realized there was something much better we could be wanting. 

So tempting and taunting. 

I've been to The Land of No Return and back again. 

It's an experience not many can comprehend.

We're back now, but afraid we'll find it again one day. 

At least now we know that it's not the only way. 

Not the only way. 

Magnets

It's time to follow the energy that has been pulling you.

~ Trust fate. ~

Our lives are two attracting magnets

that fate decided to cling together.

In a realm filled with static,

we never thought it could get better.

But it needed to.

There's a pull of attraction, 

a force we can feel so strong.

It's some sort of chemical reaction

driving us to pursue on. 

Like it wanted us to.

We're both from mines of iron

where we've been cut and bruised,

working hard to impress liars,

who would only leave us feeling used.

But we had to.

Finally we saw a spark,

a small flame igniting in the sky.

The thought was very far,

but we chased it like a high.

Cause we needed to.

It's daunting, but electric, 

a feeling we've never felt in our lives.

It's pulling us, so magnetic,

so we know we have finally arrived.

Where we needed to.

I think it's more than just attraction,

like some act of a higher plan, 

that brought us to compassion,

something only we can understand.

And we needed to.

It's incredible what fate produced,

like two magnets meant to be.

Now it's clear I saved you

because you're the one who saved me.

And I needed it.

Messages

Actions are often louder messages than those that are spoken.

~ Don't Speak.~

I've been thinking about you a lot, but all I've seen of you are words,

Written for my eyes to analyze.

More and more I grow founder, until finally your voice is heard. 

There's a sweeter accent to it. 

This is different than what I'm used to and my past begins to blur. 

It's unseasonably warm out, it matches my change of fate,

A harsh winter finally blossoming. 

As I walk towards the picture come to life, I begin to shake. 

The colors begin to form reality. 

Now we're eye to eye, already a smile painted on your face. 

It's been a long while, but this is what we've been waiting for. 

We've been counting calendar days. 

You seem surreal, like a Prince Charming come to my door. 

I'm used to the paupers. 

You talk. Unknowingly, effortlessly intriguing me more and more.  

Only the first few days, I've already become addicted. 

Is this a high or is it real? 

I take a step back, to save myself from becoming inflicted, 

A routine I've seen in my past. 

But maybe it's a fate that I couldn't have predicted. 

Suddenly, I feel myself slipping into a beautiful dream.

My world becomes a fairytale story.

When I open my eyes, everything is what it seems.

No monsters hiding behind pretty faces.

This is what I've been waiting for, and the future gleams.

Now there are anchors. More than just words decoded in a message,

More than just fancy phrases.

There's something in your actions that leaves much impression.

They say what the words don't.

We don't need words anymore because it's true perfection.