Waiting

We're all waiting for something to make a change in our lives. 

~ When you least expect it. ~ 

The car, the driveway.

The memories, deciding.

That room, this couch.

That shirt, a way out.

The park in the moon light.

The sound of sweet lies.

Those promises again.

Those promises broken.

She was waiting for a sunny day

in a world with only rain.

The door, an entry.

The words, false serenity.

That hat, this memory.

That phrase, like candy.

The house in emptiness.

The mind's deadliness.

Those words so sweet.

Those words still plead.

She thought it was something she needed,

had no other reason.

The magic, the message.

The fate, protective.

That time, this first.

That sign, full of nerves.

The rest's irrelevance.

This one's resonance.

Those words so true.

Those doubts renewed.

There's so much she didn't know,

until she finally let go.

The food, the conversation.

The mood, true salvation.

That day, this smile.

That change, something final.

The past is the past.

The future to last.

Those eyes never lie.

Those eyes all mine.

She knows now what it means

to really have something.

She has forgotten now 

what it was like, somehow.

She's been completely renewed

to see the truth.

She is what she's been waiting for,

all she's been hoping for.

Porcelain Doll

*Update: I started a lifestyle blog yesterday, so please follow this link and check it out! 

Life of The Porcelain Doll

 I wrote this as a lyrical poem back in middle school, and it inspired the creation of an entire world.

~ Where it all began. ~

I'm drowning in my sorrows.

I suffocate in my own air.

I fear for every tomorrow,

Bows in my synthetic hair.

See my pain through glass eyes.

No one sees that I'm there.

I've become a slave to my own devise.

It pours out from under what I wear.

My skin is milky white and cold.

Under the weight, my own legs fold.

I'm dressed up in cream colored chains.

Don't let it fool you, it's easily stained.

I'm just a porcelain doll.

Fall on the floor, I shatter to pieces.

Please pick up my heart, promise to keep it.

Glue me back together 

Forever, I break so easily.

I have a voice. Do what you want with me.

To all, I'm just a porcelain doll.

I'm falling backwards, down

On the shelf too long a while.

It hurts when I hit ground,

Sharp edges can't be filed.

Smile's painted on my face. 

But I have no reason to smile.

I can't show all my pain.

I'm older now than my miles.

My skin is milky white and cold.

Under the weight, my own legs fold.

I'm dressed up in cream colored chains.

Don't let it fool you, it's easily stained.

I'm just a porcelain doll.

Fall on the floor, I shatter to pieces.

Please pick up my heart, promise to keep it.

Glue me back together 

Forever, I break so easily.

I have a voice. Do what you want with me.

To all, I'm just a porcelain doll.

I don't need a dollhouse. I don't like these walls.

I think that I'm old enough to know how to crawl.

I can't live in a carriage for the rest of my life.

You ask me to stay, but I'm willing to fight.

I'm not so fragile. I'm not made of porcelain. 

Its time that you see that I'm just human.

I'm just a porcelain doll.

Fall on the floor, I shatter to pieces.

Please pick up my heart, promise to keep it.

Glue me back together

Forever, I break so easily.

I have a voice. Do what you want with me.

To all, I'm just a porcelain doll.

I'm just a porcelain doll.

Porcelain doll.

I'm just a porcelain doll.

Porcelain doll.

I'm just a porcelain doll.

Ghosts

They come back at the strangest times. 

~ Please fade away. ~

There's always ghosts inside our heads.

They leave such taunting memories.

They haunt us most when we are in our beds,

Trying to find peace for once in our sleep.

They come back in flashes time to time.

We are never quite so prepared.

We think we're healed, but they plague our minds,

Mixing into the safety of our present beds.

The past is behind. "Leave it behind," we say. 

Are we ever fully done with a moment?

The ghosts always seem to find their ways

Back into our present sacred moments.

They bounce off the porcelain walls.

They leave echoes of traces within us.

You can't deny they've left a mark on all

The conscious life you are living.

They seep their ways back into our lives,

Like some disease we have been treating.

We think we had wiped clean our minds,

But they seep back into our every thought.

Everything is better now. Why do the ghosts still seep

Into our rooms at night when we're safely guarded?

Everything is better than it could ever be.

Why do they still taunt us in our peaceful sleep?

But they come in here and there, in full waves.

We become hindered by our inhibitions,

But they were the ghosts of yesterday,

Sometimes tempting us, wishing for a change. 

A single scene can make them come flying in.

But you just have to push them out.

The ghosts are figments of your imagination.

They're not real, only imaginary reminders of the past.

Imagination is nothing compared to reality.

The ghosts are trying to convince you otherwise -

To be back in the state of living in memories.

But you can see the future without them.

Echoes on porcelain walls are soon all they will ever be.

The ghosts will no longer have any meaning

To us, as we lay down for our peaceful sleep.

They are merely figments of distant memories.

Realms

We make our own paths. 

~ One day, today will meet yesterday. ~

She was traveling through different realms, 

Trying to find a place where she could reign. 

She decided it was time to crown herself,

To finally become the ruler of her own place.

Nothing before has really ever made sense 

In all the different realms she has travelled.

She's fought her way at her own expense,

Coming out finding even more battles.

But one day she will sit on her own throne. 

She will finally be the ruler of her own kind.

One day she make it out of this to atone

For all the ailments that had once ruled her mind.

There's a place somewhere where she can be 

All that she has ever wanted to.

This is a place for only privileged eyes to see.

A place where anyone can awake renewed.

Only the ones who have shared a mind like hers

Will ever be invited into her kingdom.

They've caught madness, but found the cure,

Still holding on to faded times that can't be undone.

She'll sit there on her gorgeous thrown.

Oh, what plans she has for a change.

She'll change the only life she's ever known.

She just has to find her realm some day. 

She's been searching so she can save you,

And all the you you will ever be.

One day your past will be forgiven and renewed.

She knows she just needs to find the sanctuary.

The steps she took brought you here over time,

Like she's been setting up a stage.

You've been walking on her path to find

That she was following you the whole way.   

Now you sit here looking down from her throne,

A solid crown firmly placed on your heads.

She looks up from the past you chose on you own.

Now you're changing the life she's lead.

Castle

Sometimes all we need is a place to feel at ease.

~ Let it live forever in our memories. ~

Five in the morning.

I couldn't sleep last night,

But then I turn around to see your eyes.

I've been learning

How to leave my past behind,

But now only thoughts of you are in my mind.

Pure white sheets.

My ghosts are still haunting.

You place your arm safely around me.

I've been healing

From the ailments in my past.

You embrace me, making it all worth it at last.

Sun in the window.

I thought darkness was a way to live.

Finally, you're the ray of hope shining in.

I've been dreaming

For those fairytales to come true.

Finally, the person I've been dreaming of is you.

Our own castle.

This was worth the wait.

I finally found the place where I feel safe.

I've been searching

For a way out of my dissatisfaction.

Now I've found someone I never imagined.

Our own sanctuary.

Nothing can touch us

In here because it's built on love.

Now I'm happy.

I know that as I wake by your side.

You can't take your morning eyes off of mine.

In our own castle,

The rest of the world fades away.

There's nothing else we need but one more day.

Stale Thoughts and Tainted Minds

Things happen when you least expect them to. 

~ Stop thinking. ~

Stale thoughts, tainted minds. 

Memories renewed. 

Eyes wide, change of times. 

A new point of view. 

From where we start this,

How is this possible?

From all that has been,

How could this be?

Cotton tops, button up shirts.

A breath of fresh air.

Park benches, fireworks.

Stories we share.

Sweatshirts, pretty dresses.

On the fancy side.

Red napkins, gentle senses.

Smiles in our eyes.

My eyes gaze up,

Suddenly, I turn away.

Maybe this is luck.

Suddenly, I'm not afraid.

Lipstick, coffee cups.

Fancy four wheel rides.

First kiss, new trusts.

Feeling a different high.

Sweet words, gentle whispers.

A new way to listen.

Cold nights, warm blankets.

The past is forgiven.

This is very new.

I don't know what I'm doing.

This is very true.

I don't want it to end.

New thoughts, dirty glasses.

A tale of what's to be.

New dreams, jean jackets.

You are all I can see.

We've never felt this way before.

But I'm letting you in now

We've never wanted so much more,

But I want you now.

Pull

Open the door to what could be. 

~ Give in the the pull.~

This isn't what I had expected. 

I never thought I'd be this tempted,

but there you stand across the room,

and I already feel a pull to you.

You're beautiful and so magnetic,

The chemistry is so energetic.

I have never felt this way.

I'm just hoping that you'll stay.

All the other people begin to blur.

All I see is one single fleur

de lis that matches mine.

You're the one I needed to find.

I don't know how I let you in so easily.

All the others fought, as I stayed free,

but I give in in no time this time.

You already have a hold of my mind.

When I finally reach you, you don't leave.

I hope you'll stay around to see what's underneath.

Just look at how many times you've restored my faith

in something I thought only for a magical place.

You've made me believe magic is real.

I know it's real in everything we feel.

It's not just a tale for old souls to say.

Now it's our story we live each day.

You're beautiful and so tempting.

This was never what I was expecting,

but the stories they tell are true.

I have found my prince in you.

I couldn't have predicted this. 

You're the answer to my every wish. 

I  follow the temptingly magnetic pull to you. 

I walk to you from across the room.