What You Wanted

Isn't this what you wanted?

~ It's never what you thought it would be. ~

I'm not really sure just happened. 

I can't speak about it because no one else is talking. 

What if I'm wrong? What if I it's what I wanted?

Then, why does it feel so lethal and so haunting?

I don't know what to think anymore. 

You were getting comfortable inside my mind. 

I listened with such obedience. 

I was swayed far too easily time and time. 

But is it what I really wanted?

No, I remember my voice grasping firmly on the word. 

As I sat there repeating it,

You were out for yourself without giving me any concern. 

I did this to myself, that's what you told me.

But I trusted you and you used that to your advantage. 

I thought I knew you and I trusted you. 

But you saw me as an opportunity to further your antics. 

I'm seeing flashes of those times. 

I didn't quite understand what happened then. 

Finally, I gave in and admitted to someone. 

And the meaning was brought to my attention. 

Well I guess you finally got what you wanted. 

Just another in your long list of conquests. 

Somehow I know I had it easier than them. 

So, why is my mind forever in a state of detest?

They tell me to get over it and move on. 

Why do the flashes in my mind still taunt me?

It's in the past, I try to tell myself. 

But when I think I'm happy, those times still haunt me. 

You're truly the master of deception. 

You think we're all pawns in your game. 

I'm glad I was strong enough to break free. 

The unstable thoughts in your mind are truly to blame. 

I would speak up,

But no one ever listens. 

So I'll keep my mouth shut,

And pray you change your condition.  

I would feel sorry for you,

But I can't even feel sorry for me. 

You're incapable of love. 

You're incapable of anything.